Child and Adolescent Counseling
It has been a real struggle to help your child function.
You are frustrated by a lack of real information about how to help your child to feel better. Neither the school counselor, nor your friends, are helpful in guiding you to ease the tension and confusion your are experiencing.
Forget googling this issue- it just makes you feel more frustrated!
This situation is beyond the normal concerns you thought you would be dealing with as a parent. This is too much to do on your own.
I hear you. Parenting in this day and age is different from when we were growing up!
Children do not come with manuals, and we often do not have good modeling from our parents to address the issues that this generation of children are facing: including the daily complications from social media and technology.
I first met Fiona when she was 12 years old.
Her mother brought her in, because she was having some disturbing thoughts about hurting herself and was pulling away from her friends and parents. She was beginning to dress differently and was on her phone “all the time”.
Fiona was a beautiful 12 year old, who was popular, and had a large group of friends at school. She did not want to be like her older sister, who was 15 and pregnant. She was very resistant to therapy, but felt safe enough to tell me that she hated to come to therapy “like I’m some kind of delinquent or something!”
Creating a Good Relationship
Fiona and I soon created a good working relationship and began to uncover that Fiona was feeling so much pressure from her friends to drink and smoke weed; as well as the pressure from her family to be the perfect daughter.
These pressures were too much for this young lady to deal with, and she did not have the proper way to care for herself or the ability to say “no” to anyone. She felt that she would lose her friends and family if she spoke her mind or stood up for herself. Fiona felt that she was in a no win situation with no way out. She was posting photos of herself on Instagram, assuming, incorrectly, that any photos would disappear. She was equating her self worth with the number of “likes” and followers she had on social media.
Learning about Herself and What She Wants
As time went by, Fiona was able to see herself in a different way. We worked in play therapy and in drawing to give her a different perspective on her problems and on her idea of herself.
Fiona learned to speak her mind in a kind and strong voice and was able to form her own opinions about how she wanted to live in the world. She began to see her family as supportive and loving. She learned that she did not really want friends that were pressuring her, and chose to make new friends at her school that were more respectful and nonjudgmental of her.
Fiona had this to say about therapy: “I really didn’t want to come to therapy! It just seemed like something that my mom was forcing me to do. But, I am super glad she made me come the first couple of weeks. Lisa was kind and helpful and I enjoyed our art work and even playing in the sandbox. I feel more secure and happy now that I know that I can be in control of things for myself. I can think better and have some tools to help me if things get tough.”
Fiona’s experience may not be the same as the issues your child is facing, but through a honest and confidential relationship and a safe environment, children can learn to speak their truth and have the confidence and conviction to make positive changes in their lives.
Please call me today so we can work together to help create changes for your child. I look forward to speaking to you soon.